Navy life

It has been awhile since the last time I have been able to blog. Everything has been a crazy whirlwind out her in Illinois. Definitely a new way of life but we like it. It is going to be different when it snows because everything shuts down. That is going to be a new experince. Anyways everyone is good. We try to stay as busy as possible and enjoy whatever small amount of family time we have. Keira has made friends with the neighbor kids and is growing by leaps and bounds. She is very proud of her daddy and tells everyone she knows her dad is in the military. She thinks him being in school(despite the long hours) is the coolest thing ever. Mainly because she wants to be in school more then anything and is counting down the days till that happens. One more year!! AAAAHHHH! We don't want to even think about it yet. When did my baby get so big? Maybe it was when she started with the eye rolling and attitude. Hmmmmm. lol. I always tell people," Oh yeah she is sweet until she decides she is mad at you. Then the attitude comes out. Everything from the eye roll to the hand on the hip." She is also bit of a smart ass. Mostly I blame Blake for her attitude but the smart ass I have to take responsibility for. I do it to her dad often and obviously i need to tone that down. Whoops!

I have been staying busy with basically taking on everything so Blake just has to do school. There is never a day that I'm not in the car going to drop off/ take dinner/ pickup Blake, going grocery shopping, running errands, going on base, etc. Can't say that I totally mind because I like to stay busy. I have been keeping my weight down and I'm officially back to my pre baby weight. Yay!! I haven't been this small in awhile and now I can just stick my tongue out at Blake for complaining about me keeping skinny jeans around that i couldn't ever fit into. Now i do so take that. lol. I have been a little resistant to join anything that the wives do out here just for the fact that we aren't staying here very long. Most of the wives out here are here for 2 to 3 years so it is okay for them to get involved in things. I don't know when we are moving so that is why I have avoided them for right now. The heat was killing us the first week in July. On July 4th it was 105. I thought I was going to die. So this past week it has been in the high 80's and feels amazing. Never thought I would say that but the humidity is really bad out here when it is that hot. Blake keeps laughing that I have been wearing nothing but shorts and tank tops and I still do not have a whole lot of color to my skin. He loves to put his skin next to mine and then just laugh. I accepted it a long time ago that I'm just white and it takes a while for me to get color. Oh well. Other then that I haven't been up to much. I have been reading a book that a friend requested and spending time with the family. When it is not so freaking hot out here it is very pretty outside. And when it cools off we are going to see about going camping (my first trip. Aaaaahhhh) and there are some hiking trails by our house. We also want to go and experience some more things that this city has to offer because we don't know if we will ever be back here again.

Blake has been good. Very busy, but good. He is loving school and doing amazing at it as well. I haven't seen him this driven about something in awhile. He is pulling an A average, been offered to apply for a leadership postion and is already talking about being a career guy. Oh boy! We will come back to that. He loves that he has job that he knows how to do well and actually likes, while taking care of his family. Most of the time it didn't match up perfectly like that. I'm still adjusting to new and improved Blake. His personality is still the same sweet guy but he is a little more regimented then he use to be. ( I know your thinking well duh he is in the military, but i kinda thought he would slack off bit after awhile when he was at home.) For anyone who knows Blake you would never believe that he usually gets up about 630 every morning(even after being switched to night school) always puts his uniform away nice a neat, runs errands for me without having to be bugged for hours on end and the biggest kicker is that doesn't play games for the entire day. He plays them for about an hour or two to wind down and then comes downstairs for family time. Now if I could just get him to do the dishes life would be amazing. lol. But I'm not ready to push my luck just yet. Give it a couple more months. I do have to say that since his friend Marc has been coming over a lot that he is willing to go above and beyond and vacuum or put away the dishes. Never wash. He always stops after he puts everything away. Such a weirdo. But his one constant duty is trash and I'm thankful for that because i hate taking out the trash. I'm thankful that Marc comes over whenever he can. Blake and him were in the same division at boot and have stayed close friends ever since. Keira absolutely adores Marc and I love having him over. He has been postponed before going to his duty station and even though I was sad for him not getting to leave when he wanted but I'm kinda glad to because of the company. He is like one of the cousins and I know when he leaves Blake will stay in contact with him. Hopefully we will meet up with him again because in the military you never ever say goodbye but see you again.( And if Blake gets his way of going to Japan we just might see him sooner then we thought.)

With being here has brought up the talks of what's next. Where do we want to go and what do we want to do? As I have mentioned base stations on the table are England, Japan, San Diego, Washington and Florida. Of course there are pros and cons to all of them. My biggest thing about overseas is that i don't know if i would want to have a baby overseas. The whole thought of it scares me a little. Mostly because it is the unknown and I don't know anyone who has had there baby overseas. Obviously baby talks are happening now because this is the only time that Blake is guaranteed to be in one spot for almost two years. That means he wouldn't really miss anything including the birth which is the most important to him. He also wants to be done with kids by the end of this 6 years. Which is totally do-able. Why not when the military pays for everything you could ever need? Also Blake has only been chomping at the bit for another kid since Keira was 2. lol. I can't believe we are back to that stage again. When we had Keira it seemed so far off because we swore we would never have another kid without being prepared. We wouldn't survive it and we would never do that to Keira. So now that we are as prepared as we will ever be I guess it is time to just jump in. Easier said then done but I am interested to see how different it will be with another kid to add all the extra joy and love when the time is right.

So back to Blake being a career guy. As I have told him before, it is all fine and dandy to say that right now but lets just wait to see what happens after you get out of school. It is going to be totally different then what your experiencing right now. The job will be about the same but everything else will shift. With moving, deployments, adding to the family, finances, and whole lot more that i know I'm blanking on right now. I'm all for it if at the end of the 6 years he decides this is where he needs to be. If he willing to sacrifice his life and put some of his dreams aside to pursue a job that supports his family and makes them safe, then how could i say no. But I have told him that I do still want him to get his college degree so he has another option. I want him to take advantage of all that the military is going to offer him. They have an amazing program called troops to teachers and I think it would be perfect for Blake to do. We have both sacrificed a lot in the past 5 years together but the one thing that has never wavered for him is that he wants to be a teacher. I think he would be an amazing teacher. Even in school his friends look to him for advice or help with just about anything. It isn't just because he is a smart guy. He is caring and good natured when helping people. That is one of things that I love so much about him. He will bend over backwards for anyone that is important to him. Blake loves to share what he knows with other people and when you see him teaching other people it actually pretty neat. He is the type of person that wants to be needed. That is why the military has also been a good fit for him right now and whether in 6 years or 20 years he will make an amazing teacher. I want him to do what makes him happy and we will figure it out from there. Lifers in the military was not the life plan but hey plans change and you have to learn to roll with it. So I want him to really think about what he wants in this next 6 years while taking full advantage of everything he has at his fingertips.

Hopefully it wont be so long for another post next time. I doubt it due to the fact that I have a little more time on my hands now that Blake is in night school. We miss everyone!!!

Craziness

So obviously since I last wrote we got to go to Blake's graduation and it was amazing. Navy graduations are one of the coolest things to see and I even think they are better then most High/ College graduations. Anyways, even though the ceremony was really cool to watch it is was almost unbearable how long we had to wait for it to be all over. Don't get me wrong it was definitely a amazing experience but I couldn't get to Blake fast enough. Keira fell asleep during some of the graduation but I couldn't blame her because we were at the gates at 5am(first in line) and then waiting till 9 for the graduation to start. That is a lot to ask of a 4 year old. She was definitely trying my patience but that is because I only had one thing on my mind. Get to Blake. When everything was all over we got to go on the hard deck and hug our sailors. It took Blake 5 mins to get to us because he had to turn in some stuff. Those 5 mins were just a ball of nerves running through out my body. I cant wait until Ryan makes me a copy of the moment because I want to see everything all over again. The weekend was amazing but definitely way to short. I hated saying goodbye to him again. It was a little bit easier since he had his phone but still hard all the same. We had basically come to the decision that if the Navy was paying then we were moving. So two days after getting home Blake called and said they would pay to move us and our decision was made. Now it has all been about getting the movers scheduled, getting the new place, making our to do lists, and planning the big car trip to Great Lakes. I can't believe it is all going to happen within a few weeks. I'm going to miss San Diego so much but obviously I miss Blake much more. Our first plan was for me to stay out here but when we were together for that weekend we knew we didn't want to go 8 months without being together if we didn't have to. He has schooling for two years so that is good on the "no deployment" for two years. We are guaranteed to be in Great Lakes till October and then from there he starts C school so we don't know where they will send him. They might just keep him there. Who knows??

Getting Excited!!

So we are 4 days away and I can already feel the butterflies in my stomach. It is like our first date all over again. I know this feeling is going to grow and grow as we approach the actual day. I'm starting my packing today and I hope that I remember everything. It is going to be really cold out there in Great Lakes, so lots of layering is required. Tomorrow Blake is doing battlestations. And by tomorrow I mean 12:01 am his time. I'm praying for him and wishing him all the luck in the world. I know he is going to do amazing. Can't wait for that phone call form him on late Monday night or sometime Tuesday saying he did it. I get chills up my arm just thinking about it. Right now it is very awkward for me not be writing him letters anymore. Our daily routine revolved around when I could get to the mailbox to mail his letter and when I could write him before going to bed. Without that I feel like something is missing. In a weird way those letters were like having a little conversation with him everyday. Even though he didn't respond back for weeks at times. It is weird to not have anything really making me feel somewhat close to him right now. I just have to tell myself the amount of days we have until we are together and read all of his amazing letters that he has sent to me over these past few weeks. Saturday I got a letter from him because he knew I would go crazy without writing him or hearing from him this last week. He is so amazingly sweet. I don't know how he managed it but he did. So everyone pray that Blake does well in his last and final test of bootcamp. It is going to be one long ass day for him.

1 week to go

I'm finally almost done with this part of the journey. We have 9 days to go before I'm on a plane to go see my amazing husband. Keira and I can't wait to see him. I have been writing him everyday and even though I only get letters once a week, it has been what's got me through it. The phone calls are definitely amazing but there hasn't been many of them. He was able to call a week ago at his Papa Dave's service and it was perfect timing to hear from him. They were suppose to get a phone call the night before but got into trouble. Blake thought that meant no phone calls at all but his RDC's surprised them at let them call the next day. It was so good to hear his voice and be able to ask him questions and get answers right then and there. The waiting game when you have question that needs to be answered sucks. Last I heard from him, he was contemplating taking a leadership role but from what I can tell he didn't end up doing it. He is counting the days till graduation and now they are waiting for there final test to sum up there whole experience there at boot camp. Battle stations!!! He doesn't know when it is coming but it will happen this week. For those of you who don't know what Battle stations is, it is there final test in boot camp where they actually go on a set that is built to look like a real ship. They are tested on everything the have learned through boot camp and it is a long process. It is to prepare them for some of the worst things that could go wrong out at sea. When everything is said and done they get to line up and replace the recruit caps with sailor caps. Which obviously means he did it!! After that he gets to call home to tell us he did it. I can't wait to here the pride and excitement in his voice during that phone call. Then all that is left is practicing for boot camp graduation. Blake is actually working during the graduation and greeting all the top brass. He was nervous about it at first but now is more confident about it. He just can't wait to be done with this part and move onto schooling. It will definitely be easier with more ways to communicate now. We are still tossing the idea around on whether or not Keira and I will move out to be with him, but for now I want him to do school for a month and see how everything works out. He needs to get his feet wet and really get use to the new schedule that school is going to bring. I know that right now he wants us to move out there because he hasn't seen us in almost 8 weeks. I tell him in my letters all the time that he needs to see that it isn't easy for me to tell him to wait a month. I would love to drop everything and move to where he is but right now it doesn't seem like the best option. We will see how life is in the next month. For right now we are just looking forward to graduation. I don't know how I'm going to sleep the night before the ceremony. I know the the night before the flight i will get some sleep, but the night before graduation it isn't going to happen. I'm going to have so many emotions running through me that I won't be able to calm down enough to sleep. lol.  I just can't wait to be in his arms again and I also can't wait to see Keira reunite with her daddy again. I'm going to need some amazing waterproof eye makeup because as soon as I see him during graduation I'm going to be a mess. Okay Im done rambling for now but I will update again after his graduation.

Half way there!!

So as of Tuesday we will be 4 weeks in and only 4 weeks to go until I get to see my amazing husband. It has definitely been a challenge on my own sometimes and to add to it I have a very busy 4 year old. Keira has been as good as we could expect. She definitely has had her moments of acting out because daddy is not here. There have been points where even mommy has put herself on time outs because I need a second to re group and figure out how I'm going to deal with certain situations. Right now she is testing me because she thinks that maybe if she is bad that daddy will come home. At one point when she was in middle of getting in trouble she looked at me and said," fine then just call daddy!" Then it all clicked. She thought maybe breaking the rules and doing something bad would finally drive me to the point of calling Blake and making him come home. Poor thing. She is a total daddy's girl so I expected her to act out, but she has definitely put me through the ringer. We are finally coming out of it and she is starting to get back to normal. No more ignoring me, she is cleaning her room, and we are still working on the not telling me no, but it is coming a long.
Now back to Blake. I have gotten 4 letters and phone call that lasted 20 minutes. Best 20 minutes of my whole week. When I answered the phone and heard him say hi babe, i could have passed out with excitement. Thank god I didn't, but i was definitely not expecting a phone call a day after getting 4 letters from him. He was really emotional and cried when he talked to Keira. We talked about everything that came to mind. Cracking jokes and talking about our letters. It was good to hear him laugh but he would start to get choked up just by me talking. He said it was because he missed me so much that just the sound of my voice made everything just a little bit more bearable. As I was talking to him Blake knew something was up. He knew that I was definitely trying not to cry while I was on the phone with him, but he said he could to tell in my voice something was really bothering me more then the stresses of daily life without him. That morning some lady claimed she was attacked by a guy who pushed through her door when she answered it. He jumped on top of her and try to assault her. This happened in our apartment complex not far from mine. It turned out it was all a hoax, but for those few hours I was really freaked out. And of course Blake calls on the same day. He told me know matter how bad it was he wanted to hear it. All of a sudden I bursted into tears and told him everything. Normally I would be a little scared about something like this because Blake was always home but since I'm by myself it really freaked me out. When I was done I started apologizing and all he said was," it is fine babe, you were scared and if i can be here for you in any way I want to." God I love that man! He is going through hell right now and he still feels the need to put me first. After that he talked to Keira before he had to go and she reminded him that we are coming to see him and when we get there he has to fix mommy's heart. He started to cry again and I got the biggest lump in my throat. She kept telling him it was okay and that she loved him. Then it was my turn to say goodbye. We said I love you and I promised I would continue writing him everyday. Then we said goodbye and it was over. I wanted to be happy but then part of me wanted to cry. I miss him soo much. I shed a few tears and then pulled myself together so I could continue with my day. His letters are a really nice thing to have. When I miss him I will read one to make myself feel better. He wrote that he appreciated all the letters he has gotten from me, his mom, ryan and loralyn, and nana. Blake says the food isn't bad at all and he is even spoiled with Philly cheese steak and pizza. The physical training sucks but he is getting really skinny and is going to be in amazing shape. He prays for his family every night and especially for Nana and Papa Dave. He wishes he could be home to be there with them and just give Nana a great big hug and tell her and Papa how much he loves them. The time has given him a lot of time to think about things and how much he appreciates and loves his family. He has noticed somethings he can change and plans on fixing them when he gets home. Blake also said he cant wait to see his family that is coming to see him graduate. He is really happy to hear that is brother is going to be coming to see him and he is counting the days until he is done. He is in a special division and they are doing well. There are 4 other 28 year olds so he isn't the old one and he is making a lot of friends, even if more then half of them are 10 years younger. I can't wait for his next letter and cant believe we have already made it half way. I am that much closer to seeing my amazing husband! That's it for now I will try and update this in 2 weeks and then again after I get to see him.

Boot camp Blues.

Blake left for Boot camp on the 10th and let me tell you, my first day as a navy wife was no walk in the park. I was definitely good about not crying in front of Blake even though in those last moments it was really hard. We had to get up and 0400 to get him to the MEPS office by 0500 in the morning. Blake and I both didn't really sleep all night, but we both had our own reasons. He had nervous jitters and also was scared to leave me and Keira. Blake was never scared about the boot camp part, just about leaving us behind. I was obviously scared for him and what this experience would bring as well as being a single parent. What a lot of people don't understand and we try to explain is that ever since we found out we were pregnant we have been joined at the hip. We had to deal with a lot and were always facing an uphill battle together. So it was definitely weird for us to have to fight two different battles on our own and be separated. (We weren't even separated on the night befor our wedding for crying out loud) When we woke up he got in the shower and I got up and got dressed trying to be as quiet as possible because we didn't want to wake Keira up just yet. As he was getting ready we didn't talk much, but were constantly touching each other or kissing as we walked by. Blake's favorite thing to do is drag his hand across the small of my back when he walks by or kiss my forehead when I give him hugs. When we were dating he would always tell me that when he kisses me on the forehead it means he adores me in that moment. We finally got Keira up and she was a little hazy but she knew what was going on. She didn't put up a fight at all and Blake carried her to the car. The drive took all of 5 mins and we waited in the car till we saw more recruits getting dropped off and waiting in the hanger. Blake finally said he was ready to get out of the car so i drove him up to where everyone was waiting. He gave Keira a kiss and said he loved her and then gave me a big kiss and said I love you. Before I knew it he was out of the car and I was turning on to the street. I made it all the way to Balboa before I started to cry. I was waiting for that feeling all week but it never happened, but I was also so glad it didn't happen in front of Blake. We got back to the apartment and Keira went right back to sleep and I stayed up till 8am processing everything and wondering if he was going to call me because he forgot something. I took a nap for 2 hours, which brought my total to 4 hours of sleep. Keira was being really sweet to me and checking on me. Telling me it would be okay because Daddy said he loved us and would come back to us. She then told me daddy would come back to fix my heart. Such a sweetheart. I spent the rest of the day watching tv with keira and not really accomplishing much. I just needed to be sad for the day. I clung on to my phone for dear life waiting for his first phone call home, but I would just end up going to bed a 5am disappointed. I then woke up at 8am(we are now at 8 hours of sleep for 2 days) feeling very numb. I cried and was sad for a whole day but i couldn't do that anymore, so I was trying to find something to do to keep busy all while clinging to my phone all day waiting for that phone call. I didn't care if I was going to have to be attached to that phone for 3 weeks, I wasn't going to miss his first phone call home. Well it came at 640 on the dot. I answered the phone quickly (because I did that every time it rang) and when I said Hello I heard a slight laugh and a, "Hi hunny". If i could jump over the moon with excitement and happiness I would have done it twice over. He told me all of his info, let me know he wouldn't be able to call again until 3 weeks, but I would get a letter within 3 weeks max. His civilian stuff will be shipped to me and I will get it in 2 weeks. Blake wanted to talk to Keira since he only got 2 mins, so i woke her up so he could say hi and say how much he missed her. When I finally got the phone back we got to exchange I love yous and goodbyes. Blake is always amazing in situations that are hard on both of us. He knew exactly what to say to me so that I wouldnt get sad or cry on the phone. He sounded a little sad and I know it is because he misses us, but more then anything that boy needed to go lay down. I haven't heard him sound that tired since Keira was born. (and that is saying something for anyone who really knows Blake). I cant wait to hear from him again. I love him soo much and it is amazing what joy a 1min phone call could bring(it was actually 57seconds. He got a max of 2mins but he wasnt going to push it that far and get cut off without saying goodbye and i love you). Just hearing his voice calmed me down. Thankfully I'm going to be busy these next 2 weeks so I wont be waiting pathetically next to the mailbox everyday. I'm also keeping a journal for him and everyday I write in it how I'm feeling, what Keira is doing, how i miss and love him, and anything else that goes one. I know I would never get to say it all in the letters, so this way he will get to read it when he is at school and not feel like he missed a whole lot. Well I think I blabbed a whole lot so I will stop for now.
xoxo

Keira's 4th birthday is coming up. Omg!!

How did this happen so quickly?? My little preemie baby is turning 4. I am still in shock. It seems like a month ago she was turning 3. It is crazy to think we are only a few days away from her turning the big 4 and before we know it she will be going to school. Aaaaahhhhh!!! When Blake and I think about it, it definitely makes us think about expanding our family by one more. We can't wait for him to finish boot and then school so we can try and have our second baby. Blake and I are definitely more prepared this time around and I think I'm ready for everything that a second pregnancy might bring. I was so sick with little miss Keira that i don't know how it could be much worse but we will just have to wait and see. I tell Blake that if I have to be sick as a dog again to get another kid that is as amazing as Keira I will do it in a heartbeat. Anyways back to Keira. I love this age that she is at. She loves to dance, sing, talk on the phone, change outfits 10 times a day, and she is hysterically funny. Some of things she says has us rolling on the floor laughing and gasping for air. At times she definitely has a little attitude on her and she can definitely make us want to pull our hair out, but what else are you going to get when you combine my stubbornness and Blake's temper. I have been sitting on the computer trying to put together a video of her 4 yrs, but it is taking me longer then usual. I get stuck on almost every photo and it is also so very hard for me choose between the gazillion photos we have. She is just too cute. I will blog more about little miss thing after her party on Sunday at her Aunt Mindy and Uncle Nate's house.

And now for Xmas. We had alot of fun hanging with all of our family members and we know Keira had a blast. She got so many amazing things from everyone that she has a really hard time choosing what to play with. So far she likes to play with 8 disney princess dolls from yaya and g, her prince philip doll from mommy and daddy, her Michael Jackson doll from Aunt Mindy and Uncle Nate( she has got to have those boy dolls anytime she plays with all the princesses) all while she is in her tent that LoLo, RyRy, Rory and Abby gave her. I was so bummed today that my phone camera wasn't working because I caught her with her Michael Jackson doll putting on a concert for her princess dolls. It was so funny but still so cute. Obviously he sang Beat It ten times, but hey it is her favorite song. With the amount of toys, books and clothes she got I would be surprised if she comes out of her room without me asking her to.

We are down to 2 weeks before Blake leaves. Keira definitely knows it is coming because she is getting really cuddly and affectionate with her daddy. And of course he is eating it all up. He is starting to get nervous about it because he wants it to all work out. He tends to look at all the things that could go wrong and it stresses him out a lot. I have asked him if it is the whole boot camp thing but he has simply said he just wants to get it over and done with. Today is his last day at work and of course 30 mins before he gets to come home something major happens and he has stay back to help. Oh well. After today we get him all to ourselves for the rest of the time before he leaves. We cant wait for New Years Eve. It is going to be so much fun to hang out with all the family again. Well that is it for now.